Lady Liberty

by Glen Raphael

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about

These are mostly funny/nerdy songs. One (Gorilla My Dreams) has been featured on the Doctor Demento Show.

credits

released 01 August 2012
Words, music, guitar, voice: Glen Raphael
Bass: Mark Dann
Recorded at Mark Dann Studio in Tribeca

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about

Glen Raphael New York, New York

Glen Raphael is a Brooklyn-based singer-songwriter who performs songs on such nerdy and diverse topics as quantum physics, bedbugs, and the Statue of Liberty's mid-life crisis. Glen has won Best Original Song awards at NCSA events and is the current organizer of the New York City Folk Music Meetup. ... more

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Track Name: Lady Liberty's Pursuit of Happiness
Lady Liberty loves life
She's been thinking she might like to be a wife
She picks Craigslist to place the perfect ad:
Giant metal momma seeks stupendous boyfriend/dad
She knows the odds are pretty small
For women over 50...stories tall
She's seen it all

Lighting a world she once inspired
It might be time that she retired
She stood for freedom all the while
Freedom's somehow fallen out of style
So leave illusions on the shelf
Time to find some freedom for herself

Lady liberty is concerned
Few responses were returned
Mostly offers she doesn't want at all
Statues rarely need viagra or resveratrol
She nixed Paul Bunyan for crazy stuff he said
The men upon Mount Rushmore
Only want to get ahead
The answer isn't here - What was she thinking?
And suddenly she gets a note - from Lincoln!

[he says: ] Lady Liberty, I'd be glad
To try to be your boyfriend/dad
Four score and eight years now I sat upon this chair
Hoping to hear a word from someone who would care
The women here are small and camera crews are pesky
I'd rather be with someone statuesque-y!

Lighting a world you once inspired
I think it's time that you retired
You stood for freedom all the while
Freedom's somehow fallen out of style
So leave illusions on the shelf
Time to find some freedom for yourself
Lady Liberty loves life
Track Name: Gorilla My Dreams
Chorus:
Be the gorilla my dreams; I would go ape over you
In our fine pajamas, I'd feed you bananas
Monkey see, monkey do - wouldn't you?
Be the gorilla my dreams; don't make a monkey of me
Swinging's our activity, free or in captivity
Be the gorilla my dreams

We've all got our place, so: your branch or mine?
Of all of my mates I know you'd be the prime
You'd be my prime-mate!

[chorus]

When you served me grub
Our new lub couldn't wait
I told all the jungle that you're chimply great
Chimply fantastic!

[chorus]
Track Name: Self-Balancing Unicycle
I was out on The High Line enjoying the day
The pull of a motor easing my way
I lean just a little and weave my way through
Up to ten miles an hour on my SBU

You see posted warnings at all of the gates
They've always banned bicycles, scooters and skates
But mine was a new thing of special appeal
With gear and a motor but only one wheel

Self balancing unicycle never hurt anyone
Self balancing unicycle just making smiles, just having fun
So why'd the policeman give me a ticket - what did I do
On my SBU?

The cop said I failed, failed to comply
With bicycle restrictions; he wouldn't say why
So I did the research, I looked up the law
Broke through all the jargon, and here's what I saw:

A bike's not a unicycle; bikes have two wheels
(or sometimes three)
The laws against bicycles don't cover me
Some wheels spin in tandem, or three to a trike
But if this odd contraption has one wheel, it isn't a bike!

So I told the justice - and she had to agree
Cancelled my ticket, setting me free
To this day I wonder, now that it's all through
If that caused such trouble
What would jumping stilts do?

Self balancing unicycle never hurt anyone
Self balancing unicycle just making smiles, just having fun
And out at the high line today you may see what true freedom can do:
I'm on my SBU!
Track Name: Misanthrope's Lament
Some people are too angry, some people are too loud
Some people talk like morons, while others act too proud
Some ought to bathe more often
Or should wear less perfume
Some people like to sing out loud who couldn't hold a tune
I'd love to be more social
I'd love to spend more time among the people
If people didn't suck

Yeah people suck; they're always leaving
And often when they don't you wish they would
Rarely has it ever been a good thing that people were involved
Yeah, people suck, and we're all people
So suckage just might be the common thread
We spend our lives annoying one another
Until the day we're dead

Some people are too nosy, some people cut in line
Some people take your parking space
While others waste your time
Some people jump the turnstiles, or movie-hop for free
Some write dumb songs complaining about everythng they see
I'd be in love with everyone except that
People really suck.

Yeah, people suck, and it seems likely
That might be all there is to say on that
The more that I learn about people the more I like my cat.
Yeah people suck, and I don't like them
Although there's an exception I might make:
If you were to be with me then that
Annoyance I could take.
Track Name: Quantum Entanglement
Every little decision splits us in two
There must be a million worlds we've been through
Before I go, there's something that you ought to know
Most of me are happy with you
I mull this over at home in the bath
Every choice we make creates a new path
Smarter men than any of me
Tell us there must be worlds we agree
That's not a metaphor; they did the math

This quantum entanglement
Spooky action at a distance
Whole worlds of possibility
There is only one I see

You know I love you, but also I don't
And I will love you forever, but also I won't
I'm sure most versions of me
Love almost every version of you
There are worlds we're here for every one we're through

This quantum entanglement
Spooky action at a distance
Whole worlds of possibility
You're the only one I see

In the world beyond Neils Bohr
What are decisions for?
Do they change anything?
What will our future bring?

We have a moment; with luck it might last
All our action's reactions are now in the past
This much is true as anything any of me ever knew:
Most of me are happy with you
Track Name: What Has The Planet Done For Me?
I hike, bike, and recycle; I care about the planet
But what has the planet done for me?
I douse...fires I've burned
But are my affections returned?
What feelings have the earth for me?
Ok sure, it's the only earth I've known
That could be the problem;
Maybe both of us have grown
With all that we've been through
We might need a week or two alone
To figure out the meaning of it all

We scrimp, we shout
Wonder what we could do without
And what has the planet ever done for me?

[break]

I might have tried to see other planets on the side
But long-distance relationships are hard by radio telescope
I'm here, you're near; let's try to enjoy this ride
Without the earth I'd be inclined to mope

Of planets, you're the nicest one I've ever seen up close
There's no place else with such a good commute
If we could get some counseling
You might give me nicer weather
And for my part I would try not to pollute...much.

I'd go to pieces if earth favored another species
So let us try to work things out
Though all the other primates doubt
And I'm reluctant to commit
I do believe that this one's it
And you are the only earth...
For me!
Track Name: Britney Spears is Gonna Freeze Her Head
Decapitation, extra cold
Can bring us forward to a future bright and bold
With fewer problems, your life
Has got a second chance
A chance to make it right, remember

Britney Spears is gonna freeze her head
When everybody that you've ever known is dead,
You might go quietly but heed these words instead
Britney Spears is gonna freeze her head

A brand new body
Would be great
Whatever part that doesn't work we amputate
And build a new one
From spare parts
New heart, new limbs, new soul
New future to control, no wonder

Britney Spears is gonna freeze her head
When everybody that you've ever known is dead,
You might go quietly but heed these words instead
Britney Spears is gonna freeze her head

If you were living Britney's life you wouldn't find it pleasing
A chance to try it all again could be worth the teasing
So it's time to think of freezing

Britney Spears is gonna freeze her head
When everybody that you've ever known is dead,
You might go quietly but heed these words instead
Britney Spears is gonna freeze her head
Track Name: Army of Robots
My place is dirty, but I hate to clean
Can't find a keeper because they tend to scream
I wallowed in despondence until I found the key
To solve every issue that had been plaguing me
An army of robots is just what I need
On every occasion they'll act on my lead
To call forth solutions effective and severe
An army of robots is here

My city elders a nuisance persist
Won't nod respectfully or bow before my fist
I should make them suffer and always speak wist-
fully of the past and the fingers that they missed
An army of robots is just what I need
On every occasion they'll act on my lead
To call forth solutions effective and severe
An army of robots is here

Well, the robots I built got a little bit too smart
They stopped following orders; they're appreciating art
Of those that wouldn't follow the dictates of my heart
To make an example, I tore a few apart (and now)
The army of robots appears to have turned
Upon the kindly master from whom all was learned
I did want destruction, but not aimed at me
I'm wishing now I'd purchased the extended warrantee
An army of robots I now must avoid
To slip the authorities I've had them all destroyed
My planning was flawless, but robots left me vexed;
Perhaps I'll try alligators next!
Track Name: Colorblind
Red means stop; green means go
Yellow's always somewhere in between
I see the signals, I see the signs
Never knowing what they mean
Ask my policeman; ask my judge
Write me a ticket or give some other nudge
But look a little closer and you'll find:
I'm just colorblind.

We send the soldiers on their way
They've got the orders to kill another day
Some insurrection leads to war
Never knowing nothing of the thing they're fighting for
It's been a problem; it's a curse
Things we say are getting better always getting worse
I wouldn't say that we're unkind;
We're just colorblind.

And sometimes our perception is askew
What we see is not the same -
A slightly different hue.

So if I slight you when you go
It's not intended; I probably didn't know
Call me a moron; call me rude
The one I thought I wanted now is with some other dude
That's not your problem, not your play
We were making colors in a wholely different way
I let her think I didn't mind;
I was colorblind.
Track Name: Global Heartwarming
The globe gets a little hotter when I get a glimpse of you
The earth gets a little colder when our time is through
Don't tell me they fudged the data, or botched the plot
All I'm talking about is you - that's hot and so
The globe gets a little hotterwith every glimpse of you

The earth gets a little warmer, whenever I see your face
Your smile, turned in my direction makes it a warmer place

Don't know about urban heating, or C02
I just know about the heat... I get from you and
the earth gets a little warmer, whenever I see your face

(break)

My heart feels medieval warming
Whenever you turn my way
But then there's a Little Ice Age, when we're not okay
Don't know about melting glaciers, or polar bears
All that matters is the warmth we share and that
The globe, gets a little hotter whenever you hear this song
- so go buy some carbon credits!
Just because you heard this song.
Track Name: If You See Something Say Something
If you see something, say something (x3)
I see a bird
I see a little white bird
You didn't know. You haven't heard - did nobody call?
I see a girl
I see a beautiful girl
Out on her own
Out in the world, with no one at all
And when I look around I see that everything's strange
We're all a little deranged

And everybody's just people
We've got to solve the problem
No other way to rock that, got to face our fears
And everybody sees danger, but we can't hide in closets
We've got to be the grownups, no more wasted tears
It's been too many years

If you see something, say something (x3)
I see a wall
I see a twenty-foot wall
You couldn't see the view at all
I see a sign
I see a prominent sign
A sign of fear
But not of mine, it's no fear of mine
And when I look around I see the world hasn't changed
We've got to cope with the strange

And everybody's just people
We've got to solve the problem
No other way to rock that, got to face our fears
And everybody sees danger, but we can't hide in closets
We've got to be the grownups, no more wasted tears
It's been too many years
Too many years

If you see something say something - or don't!
Track Name: Love Songs Are Boring
I met a girl, hair across her face
Gentle in her moves, elegance and grace
She let me in, I took her side
Some way to win, something to decide
I would sing to her of thoughts we've been ignoring, but love songs are boring

She knows a boy, glasses on his nose [I know]
Has a little charm, but needs some better clothes
He's getting old, grey in his hair
Sometimes he's bold, but not completely there
She would sing to him, a flood of words outpouring, but
love songs are boring

Everyone has loved; everyone has heard each tortured rhyme or misbegotten word
Everyone has tried to celebrate their muse, only to anger or confuse
Which is why you find when musically exploring,
love songs are boring

Everyone has loved, everyone has found
Some maudlin time, turned into a sound
We could write it out, words upon a page
Slighting the feelings we engage...

Still I'll sing to you, the one I've been adoring,
love songs are boring