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Phase Transition

by Glen Raphael

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1.
Who created the heaven and earth? Flying Spaghetti Monster Who created the mountain and the midget? Flying Spaghetti Monster Have you been touched by his Noodly Appendage? Ramen!
2.
There is a dark side and a light side and it Binds the universe together. Rebels knew the power of the force It let them do amazing things. See through other eyes Be a bit more wise Rise above their size. So there is Ben, as you begin the race And there is dad, just tumbling through space. There is a dark side and a light side and it Binds the universe together. Duct tape is a many-splendored thing It has a million uses. Anything that's broke, just ordinary folk Have fixes rarely spoken of. So there is glue, to stop things breaking free. It sits on tape, to combat entropy It has a dark side and light side and it Binds the universe together. Love is very rarely found It's everywhere around us now. Anywhere you go most anyone you know Has sides they seldom show. And I have life - each precious bit of time And I have hope that you belong in mine. It has a dark side and a light side and it Binds the universe together. Love has a dark side and a light side and it Binds the universe together Bind my universe together.
3.
iPhone 02:29
I'm on an iPhone trying to call home AT&T wouldn't let me through The coverage sucked so I'm out of luck and Now there is nothing we can do. Yeah, I should have gone with Verizon. Don't know what made me wait Guess I wondered how their data plans operate. I know it's extra for roaming and internationally I'd do better with a GSM from Mobile T I pay every bill My phone never will let Siri explain - Directions for my brain To find a new plan I can understand They all sound the same! I'm on an iPhone trying to call home AT&T wouldn't let me through The coverage sucked so I'm out of luck and Now there is nothing we can do. If happy ever after was a thing I would get the message when you ring. Not an hour later in my car Why won't it go through - we've got 4 bars! It might be different with Android I hear they're cheaper to roam. I would even consider buying a Nokia phone I like the colorful tiles and interactivity Though I'd also thought of getting a RIM Blackberry. My service is gone; what happened to Palm? They seemed so strong for just a little while. My signal is blocked; my cellphone is locked I think I'm focked! I'm on an iPhone trying to call home AT&T wouldn't let me through The coverage sucked so I'm out of luck and Now there is nothing we can do. If happy ever after was a thing I would get the message when you ring. Not an hour later in my car Why won't it go through - we've got 4 bars! But I'm on an iPhone
4.
We're broke, no clout, pockets all turned out And there's a billion metal dollars in a box No cloth, no trees, just brass and manganese A billion metal dollars in a box You wonder how did we get into this position Minting more won't keep our bills at bay Men of numismatic disposition tried to put the coins in play It didn't pay So goodbye, see ya Sacajawea couldn't help you spend the dollars in the box And it's hard to know what anybody's thinking Best intentions rarely turn out well So stay with me and dance, and we'll sing of failed romance Hope that we won't be the coins they couldn't sell We're broke, no clout, pockets all turned out Just like a billion metal dollars in a box.
5.
Ask A Ninja 02:16
Counting on a Ninja for advice Is not a helpful vice He may just slice your head - off. Ninjas are a bit too fond of knives And taking other lives And making sure you're dead. Ask a ninja - ask a ninja! - and he may answer you. Ask a ninja - ask a ninja! - what ninja think and do If he answers, his memes may haunt you in your dreams And the Ninja looks forward to killing you soon. Ninja have a way of keeping still - they're very hard to kill You can't impose your will upon them. Ninja keep their footprint very small You can't see them at all, 'til on their sword you fall <chorus> Ninja bowlers always make their pin Their balls have so much spin They knock down every lane - at once Ninja barbers get a healthy tip Their fingers never slip except to cause you pain. <chorus, with unexpected death>
6.
Fleas, mosquitos, lice and bedbugs make us a tasty treat Fleas, mosquitos lice and bedbugs like nothing else to eat They've got little tiny bellies fed by little tiny heads Right this very minute some are hiding in your beds I tell you Fleas, mosquitos, lice and bedbugs make city life complete. Fleas, mosquitos, lice and bedbugs are predators of man Fleas, mosquitos, lice and bedbugs will get you if they can. They'll get you at the office; they will get you at the mall. The trouble is they're very very very very small and that's why Fleas, mosquitos, lice and bedbugs confound our every plan. You might not like them but it's hard to get your wish They could just go away but you are such a tasty dish! So, Fleas, mosquitos, lice and bedbugs are in your bedroom still Fleas, mosquitos, lice and bedbugs are very hard to kill. You can try a little poison, maybe suffocate with gas Or open up a window so they freeze their tiny ass but somehow Fleas, mosquitos, lice and bedbugs Come back and eat their fill - you know they will! Come back and eat their fill. Oh, yeah!
7.
Many winter nights ago a woman shivered in the cold Searched the sky and wondered why the gods invented pain She bitterly struck rocks together Wondering why our lives aren't better Suddenly she saw the spark of light and golden flame She showed others but they told her She was not meant to control these primal forces The gods were cloaked in mystery Proud and angry, she defied them She would not be satisfied She lit a fire and started history Tomorrow can be brighter than today Although the night is cold and the stars may seem so far away But every mind can be a perfect ray of courage, hope and freedom Surely we can find our better way Ages long forgotten now built the wheel and then the plow Tilled the earth to prove our worth Against the drought and snow Soon we had time to ponder Look into the sky and wonder, "Could there be some deeper meaning we should know?" The universe may seem unfair The Laws of Nature do not care Plagues and storms and our own evils Nearly dowsed our flame But through it all we have endured Lessons learned, diseases cured All Herculean tasks But we can still proclaim: Tomorrow can be brighter than today Although the night is cold and the stars may seem so far away But every mind can be a perfect ray of courage, hope and freedom Surely we can find our better way!
8.
Feeling a little neglected? Don't think that I'm being mean. Just can't see you if you're not on this screen. The world can get kind of lonely It's hard to make it alone. You can't call me if you're not on my phone. The world has plenty of people Blocking my path when they walk I'm sure a couple of you Can put down the phone and talk But that ain't me. Some folks are full of complaining They need to bitch and moan. Won't concern me 'Cause I don't have to answer the phone. You can't think of what to say It's probably just as well We've built plenty of ways of hiding inside a shell So go away I might be writing an email Or tagged by a Facebook friend. I'm right on that My answer's nearly ready to send. So sent me a text or an email And you'll be on my screen.
9.
My invitation came too late You already had a date. Thought it might not go so well But you fell Now you have someone Someone who desires And helps and loves and cares and still perpetually inspires. Until that love is done, that makes me The other one. While I gratuitously pine, you seem to never see the sign. We could go on like that until the end of days And then part ways. But I'm trapped within the shadow of a glance you barely took Dreading that next update, pressing petals in a book. Another chance will come Right now, I'm the other one. And I will be here, waiting in the wings Counting on the strife that every moment brings. Just a friend, and a friendly ear Thinking this won't last the year Races have been run Look how far we've come And someday a new love will appear Enough to make the whole world clear. You didn't know it was so near. But it's a love so overpowering A budding, blooming flowering A shining silver, picture perfect moment in the sun When I won't be the other one.
10.
Card Counter 02:57
Late at night on the strip walks a man with no name Or many names, depending on the day. Most other players are fools to think they know the rules When to hit and when to stay But this one's found the way So hold a number in your mind Keep it close where none can find You adding and subtracting one by one. Don't need to be Rain Man but your zero starts exact. Two through six add one to the count; ten or ace subtract. And that's the running count Divide by decks left to make it true. True count tells you what to do. Card counter Where others lose he'll win instead. Card counter Is the man with the numbers in his head. At least the Eighteen Illustrious Schlessinger and Wong Know the count won't steer him wrong So build a table in your head Watch the cards turn black and red Then look up every index with your brain. The higher the count the more you double, split, and stand Hope your best plays look insane. Plus plus minus minus plus...plus one, plus two... Is the dealer cheating me? Watch out for security. Can the pit boss tell I used the count? I'm looking out! Is it time to run away? Can I make just one more play? Do they even know what I'm about?
11.
Choosing You 02:03
That's my problem, always on another path Different way to get back home. I could lose myself almost anywhere and still be alone. It's a choice to spend your affections If you don't choose, that's one too. So I'm choosing you - that's my problem Always at another place. One more outlet, one more show. I could play them all - wouldn't mean a thing And you'd never know. Cause I can't sing about anything that matters All I know that's true is I'm choosing you That's my problem - I should either sink or swim In the shallows I just float. All the world drifts by in an aeroplane And I'm in a boat. But when I search for the safety of a harbor And lose my ocean blue, I'm choosing you. That's my problem: I'm choosing you.
12.
When you are cold, turn off the heat When your belly aches you've got to eat. When you feel sad you need some levity. And when you are low, turn off the gravity. Then you can float on your commute - just flap your arms Though it'd go faster in your air suit - the jetpack is extra. See, nobody knew that there was a knob. Or maybe they thought it wasn't their job. It could have been you but I just confessed it: When I see a switch, well, I pressed it. <chorus> Now we can fly to the moon or stars - just kick off hard And all of the universe is ours - the trip may go slowly. Still I'm having fun just floating around. I'd gotten so tired of feet on the ground. No need to stop time but I'd like to pause it. And there's one more switch left in my closet. <chorus>
13.
Don't know what I had before I lost it; My heart is not as certain as it seems. Searched high and low but everywhere I go I couldn't find the comfort that's now only in my dreams. So I'm looking for something lost Did you try the other pocket? I don't know where it's gone to Got a picture in this locket. When my heart is uncertain Where my world's all-over blue I go search for my missing piece of you. Tried to find a novelty distraction. Sought to salve my soul with something new. Searched many places, searched a thousand faces. Nothing that erases my sweet memories of you. Now I'm looking for something lost Did you check under the bed? I don't know where I lost it Was it something that I said? When my heart is uncertain Where my world's all-over blue, I go search for my missing piece of you. TIme left pictures, letters I can see. There might be a path but it's too late for me. Looking for something lost. Looking for something lost Did you try the other pocket? I don't know where it's gone to Got a picture in this locket. When my heart is uncertain Where my world's all-over blue I go search for my missing piece of you. Search for my missing piece of you
14.
I didn't know where went the time. With so many squandered chances just a few were mine And ever since this soul was born I've been grasping for the horn But now it might be time to mourn the son that didn't shine. I didn't know where old friends are grown In a million lonely people very few have shown That there is progress in a race As we are gasping for a trace Yet we are still afraid to face things on our own. Turn it around; steer clear Take us far away from here. There's a bold new path And somebody knows the way. There must be a sign so lay in a course. Grab a subway, hop on a horse I don't care, I just know that we've lost ground. It's time to turn around. And one day you feel your best day's behind. Further forward in the future little left to find. And there's just a silent empty place And a slightly slower pace Where there once used to be some space to ease your mind. But when you look back you might find a branch Where the younger version of you had a different chance Which you could take to start anew And build a very different you Until the one you thought you knew was just a trance. <chorus> Cause sometimes you've gone around in a circle Lading away from the path you've got. What have you found - is it the place you sought? it's not. <chorus>
15.
My love is a butterfly floating gently through summer fields Spreading beauty and love under the midday sun And your love is an entomologist Chasing me down, ensnaring me in your nate And taking me home, jabbing a pin through my guts And mounting me on your wall A pin. Your love is a pin through my guts. My love is a sailing ship, seeking out a friendly shore To cast out my anchor, happily never to sail no more And your love is the ocean that drowns me Leaving my bones to be picked at by crabs And bringing settlers to the new world With smallpox and influenza Wiping out the indigenous population Smallpox. Your love is smallpox. You are a giant redwood falling on a family of deer You are a soaring eagle landing in a minefield You are the river rising over the downtown levee You are Christmas, in Iran. My love is a tiny puppy knowing only joy and trust Greeting each new day as a miraculous gift And your love is an underground dog-fighting ring Capturing me and keeping me in a cage On the brink of starvation, torturing me daily Until all that I know is hate and rage And death holds no meaning for me Just like Christopher Walken at the end of The Deer Hunter Christopher Walken. Your love is Christopher Walken.
16.
When I Die 03:05
They may bury my body when I die Near some graveyard I'll be found Simply rotting in the ground If they bury my body when I die They may burn my body when I die As that fiery furnace flashes II'll be nothing more than ashes If they burn my body when I die They may use my body when I die As the doctors ply their arts I'll be in a hundred parts If they use my body when I die They may freeze my body when I die Though I may well be mistaken I would hope to reawaken If they freeze my body when I die They may eat my body when I die If a zombie horde remains They'll be hankering for brains As they eat my body when I die. I'd prefer to never die at all Cheating death is such a rarity It would take a singularity To permit we never die at all They may bury my body when I die Near some graveyard I'll be found Simply rotting in the ground If they bury my body when I die.

credits

released October 21, 2013

Guitar/Voice: Glen Raphael
Bass: Mark Dann
Ninja: Nicole Dieker
Cover Art: Len Peralta

Your Love Is: Music: Sabourin/Coulton, Lyrics: DiCostanzo/Sabourin
Brighter Than Today: Raymond Arnold/Glen Raphael
All other songs: Glen Raphael

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Glen Raphael New York, New York

Glen Raphael is a Brooklyn-based singer-songwriter who performs songs on such nerdy and diverse topics as quantum physics, bedbugs, and the Statue of Liberty's mid-life crisis. Glen has won Best Original Song awards at NCSA events and is the current organizer of the New York City Folk Music Meetup. ... more

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